My wife noticed the tell tale sign of my feeling poor(ly). "You’re talking about being a paper boy again. You do that every time you’re feeling poor. I wish you would do it and get it out of your system," she added disgustedly.

The truth is I don’t want to be tied down from a job. Nor do I want to work hard or in drudgery. I am a bit particular about how I derive an income. However, I received an email a few days ago from my boss from my part time day job that left me feeling very insecure about my ability to continue to derive income from it. Recent program changes had caused my income to drop by 1/3 then 2/3 and now I am questioning if I can make any money at all from this work.

Fortunately, I do a little bit of a lot of things to earn a living (including I hope soon writing this column) so that I am not totally reliant on this particular job. However, this steady part time income gave me the time freedom to develop long term income potential through self-employment.

I had been feeling particularly well just prior to reading this email that I was coming from what I would call a place of abundance. When I come from abundance I have the ability to balance my life between work and play, family and work obligations. I have fun and joy in what I am doing and in general a sense of security.

When I am feeling poor(ly) my insecurities, fear, and anxieties replace my laughter and joy. I am aware that there are certain people and activities that help me to be in this better place. I am consciously seeking these and attempting to eliminate activities and people who take me to this place of feeling poor(ly).

I also know that I control my own feelings and moods yet external events do in fact affect my moods. The most obvious example would be losing my father. Another example would be the aforementioned email from cyber hell. Life I understand cannot be all happiness and sunshine (especially here in West Virginia in the winter) but I may as well do as much as I possibly can to feel and be my best.

Recently we were selling a fish aquarium. Originally, the aquarium was purchased for my son’s enjoyment but the fish had become instead a burdensome responsibility for my wife (another example of reality getting in the way of vision).

My wife advertised the aquarium for $10 (fish included) in the weekly shoppers guide and announced no one was going to buy her aquarium. "If worse comes to worse we can give it away," I replied. 7:30 A.M. the morning the ad came out our phone rang. The woman who called was looking for an aquarium for her grandson (something for him to do other than watch TV). The perfect buyer, my wife thought.

Her husband was disabled (on a fixed income) and she talked my wife down to $8 for the aquarium. At first I couldn’t imagine why my wife would sell the fish and tank for less than $10 until she told me the circumstances.

"Why not just give it away," I announced abundantly. We both felt great giving it away. The woman had asked about a table so I gave her the choice of purchasing a table with antique sewing machine base for $10 with the aquarium or the aquarium for free. She chose the latter.

All of us were happy as could be until I helped her put the fish tank in her car. I discovered her car was newer and fancier than one I felt I could afford for myself. Why am I giving this to her for free when…I thought to myself poorly.

When I got back into the house, my wife announced that since we still had the antique sewing machine table the only thing to do with it would be for me to put a new solid wood top on it that would be more suitable than the painted particle board top which had been suitable for the fish tank. I was left feeling poorer still.

This abundance stuff is not too easy. Especially as the son of parents who came of age during the scarcity of the Great Depression. Living in abundance is not about material things or how much money you make. Recently I met a couple who despite (or maybe because of) two significant incomes and fancy homes did not have time to enjoy their homes or lives. They were too busy working to sustain their lifestyle. No matter what they did, they could not have enough.

Ironically, the best model for living in abundance came from a homeless hitchhiker I met many years ago. This fellow spent a few days living with my wife and I and even spent some time going to my work with me. He sort of became me for a week or so until he decided to move on with his life. What impressed me was that despite not having a penny in his pocket, he had no insecurity about where his next meal would come, or bed would be. He had told me that once he had a job selling encyclopedias and had set the record for sales in his first month of work. He walked away from that job with no regrets.

Another person who taught me about abundance was ironically, living in a homeless shelter. I figured before I met this woman, that if you lived in a homeless shelter you would be lacking in resourcefulness. I was wrong. I remember being quite impressed with the resourcefulness of this woman. She went to amazing lengths to help her daughter maintain her ties to her neighborhood and school. She did this despite the help she received from a "transitional housing program for the homeless" which was far removed from the social network of her previous home. This didn’t stop her from using the address of a friend so that her daughter could stay in her school or driving her daughter back to her former neighborhood to go trick or treating for Halloween.

I most admired the resourcefulness of these people to overcome adverse conditions.

"Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to."

I once wrote a middle school essay for an English final exam on that topic.

The quote comes from the movie, Miracle on thirty-fourth Street.

It is at times like these, when seemingly resources are lacking (spent) and the present seems bleak, that I find inspiration in that quote.

I recently read about the passing away of Al McGuire former college basketball coach at Marquette University and basketball television analyst.

I read with keen interest the obituary written about him by his former student athlete, Rick Majeris who also became a successful college basketball coach, and friend.

He wrote that Al McGuire believed, and taught, that you are poor only when you can no longer dream.

I have spoken with a number of business partners and friends in the past several days that have either thanked me for work I have done on their behalf or offered me new opportunities for meaningful work.

Before long I have found my sadness and despair replaced again by optimism and hope.

I now know that I have a knack for bringing people together in ways that everyone benefits.

I am seeking and finding business partners who appreciate this gift.

This week I returned to my day job after a one day snow break.

"You haven’t given up yet," the last person I saw said to me.